Bird and a Note

Those of you that haven’t read Three Days in Heaven, just so you know, God’s watch is broken and Chad is Jesus.

God comes over to me and says, “Tony, we’re running out of time, so let’s wrap it up. Things are getting out of control and I want to give everyone a chance to straighten up, and the time is ticking away.”

I chuckle and say, “I hope you’re using your watch.”

He looks at me, eyebrows raised slightly and says, “Chad’s works just fine.”

He continues to explain my mission. “I needed a beacon, and that is why I chose you. Everything you have seen and witnessed here, in all of its splendor and glory, I only ask one thing of you and that is to send a ‘simple message of faith’.”

I pause for a second and gave Him one of Bev’s infamous glares. I begin to feel a slight pulse in my neck, then ask, “Wait a minute. A message of faith? The pulse is now a throb. “What else?”

“None that I can think of, just a message of faith. Why do you ask? Is that so difficult?”

Now the adrenalin kicks in and I pace around in a circle a few steps, then halt with the pacing. I turn toward Him, and in a fit of anger, both hands fly way up in the air and exclaim, “That’s it?” With my voice elevated to a less than Angelic volume, I continue, “Back there,”— I begin pointing in all directions not knowing precisely where “there” is, I stop and say— “Who cares, where? They think I’m dead!”

“And?” God, more subdued than me, then adds, “They’ll get over it.”

“Get over it! I’ve been kidnapped, and…”

God interrupts me, seeming a bit hurt at my comment, says, “That’s just plain rude.”
Ignoring Him, I continue the rant. “I’ve been to Hell and back, which, by the way, scared the wits out me, and …”

Again He interrupts and says, “I did bring you back and let you see Heaven.”

“What? As a consolation prize?”

Grinning God says, “I could send you back if you’d prefer.”

“That’s OK, I’m fine and dandy right here. You aren’t listening to me! I have a grieving wife, worried kids, and a friend who’s about to hang himself, — and take me with him! And all I need to do is pass along a message of faith?”

I retreat from the ranting, shake my head and say, “I’m beginning to feel like Dorothy, minus the ruby red slippers.” Then ask, “Why didn’t you just send me a dove with a message? I would have believed that.”

God replies, “Oh really? I thought a personal visit would be more convincing than a bird with a note.”


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